My Name In Lights

Apparently at a Loss for Words April 8, 2009

Despite the elated tone of my last post (I was happy about CBS and how well our story on Elza Habif went), I have fallen off the deep end with frustration. First I had a minor breakdown after trying to figure out my schedule for next year and realizing that I can’t take all the broadcast classes I want to take. And if I can’t take those classes, I wondered how I would ever have the chops to make it in the highly competitive world of broadcast journalism. Of course I was ignoring all the experience I get working on UMTV and the fact that I had just landed an internship. This later soothed me.

But now I’m wondering if I have the chops to even be a journalist in general! Story #3 for CNJ445 has been nothing but a pain in the you-know-what since the get-go. Clearly we should have heeded Chris’ warning that this story was going to be tough… Since taking the story on, I have had the most ridiculous time:
(a) talking to sources. (By the way, the Israeli Embassy has been worth absolutely nothing.)
(b) figuring out a way to make the story “news” and make it relevant to today without making it sound like a research paper
(c) ordering my thoughts in a cohesive way so people can attempt to understand how extremely complex this forsaken story is.

I cannot even begin to explain my frustration with myself and the sources and my story. I have submitted three drafts, none of which have been approved, and written countless drafts which no one even saw because I edit myself so many times in the process of writing.

There, it’s out-my rant is over. Hopefully my most recent draft will be closer to approval than the last three. If I’m not getting some journalistic chops with this one, then I don’t think I ever will…